It feels like we've been trying to finish our home study since we had a garage sale in September to raise money to start it. And just like that....
Time is so weird to me sometimes. Days seem to drag on - when the kids are sick and whiny, when daddy has to work late, when you're waiting everyday to get the news that everything has been turned in and the home study is finalized. Yet months and years somehow fly by. It's been five years this week since we landed in Macedonia. We've lived in Warrensburg three and a half years. Most surprisingly fast - our daughters are 4 and 18 months. And now, the home study phase of our adoption is done.
We've been working months towards this point; raising money, compiling and notarizing documents, traveling for interviews, raising more money, preparing our home for inspection and then having a car crash in our yard. The email from our social worker on Wednesday seemed almost anticlimactic - "The Home Study is in the mail on its way to you! Congratulations on being done with this step!" All that work and waiting, then just like that... we're moving on.
Give thanks to the LORD, for he is good.
His love endures forever.
Give thanks to the God of heaven.
His love endures forever.
Psalm 136:1&26
The moment I get that home study I'm putting it right back in the mail with our CIS-600A application to immigration. Pray for a quick reply. Applications are currently backlogged and it could take us a few months to receive approval. We cannot go on our agency's waiting family list until we have approval from immigration.
We are so thankful to God who has brought us this far! His love endures forever!
Friday, January 21, 2011
Friday, January 14, 2011
Back At It
Too long. Too long. Fear of not knowing how to best express what's going on is my primary motivation to procrastinate writing on the blog, but then if I never do it, how will I ever get better at it?
The holidays seem ages ago. We certainly had our most *interesting* Christmas yet as a family. Being sick with a stomach bug is awful. Dealing with kids puking in their beds is awful. Getting sick away from your own home is awful. Getting sick on Christmas Eve is awful. Add all of these awful things together... and that was our Christmas. Pretty epic.
But - We had such a great time spending a few days at Emerson's parents'. The family was complete, and completely chaotic with all of the siblings, spouses and tusins! (Ane's word for cousins.)
We played more Settlers than we have since living in Macedonia, Emerson got to spend some time outdoors hunting with his dad, and I even got some quiet time to myself (well, as quiet a place as you can find in a house with cousins rampaging through it).
I had brought my Friday morning Bible study workbook with me and enjoyed working through the lessons. Most things in my spiritual life seem to revolve around our adoption. This is the walk of faith that God has called us to at this time, so it makes sense that he is using this journey to cultivate my relationship with him. There were some powerful and encouraging lessons on opposition and the victory we have in Christ. The lesson that proved to be most penetrating to me included a multiple choice answer section with the question being; "When you face a situation that calls for action, do you normally.... a.) Seek the advice of friends; then act. b.)Seek the advice of friends, seek God; then act. c.)Act immediately and then regret your actions. d.)Seek God and act. e.)Seek God, wait for his direction; then act."
Wait for his direction. That concept struck me in the face as the option that should characterize my life and yet really looked least like me. Little did I know what God had in store for our family the next day. We were already to start packing up the van to head home. Emerson went out to the driveway to back the van into the garage to begin packing, when the transmission wouldn't go into a gear. There was no way we were driving the van home. I was devastated. This van, that seemed so much this summer to be a sign of God's provision and blessing of our decision to adopt was again malfunctioning. We just spent a huge amount of money to fix the heater and now this?! Doubt and discouragement coursed through my mind and heart, and with it the impulse to act hastily to remedy the situation, strangling it into submission to my own will. Without even knowing the mechanical diagnosis I was ready to start spitting out my opinions on how to fix everything.
And then this multiple choice question began pressing forward from the back of my mind. The Holy Spirit gently questioning me as to whether I would wait on his leading, or rely on my own "wisdom".
We ended up driving home in my mother-in-law's van (which Ane noticed only when we were within an hour of home, "When did our van turn blue?!") On our way I shared what I had been learning in Bible study with Emerson and told him that I would not be expressing my ideas on what should be done. I was going to pray for God to give him wisdom and wait for him to decide what was best for our family. I tell you there were days that I thought I'd have to bit my tongue clean off to keep from persuasively arguing all of my ingenious plans. We had to wait a few weeks to even find out what was wrong, and how much the repairs would be since the repair shop wasn't even open the week in between Christmas and New Year's. During this time I began to see how I had allowed our van (our used 1999 Ford Windstar) to become a status symbol for me as I parked it alongside all of the other minivans dropping children off at preschool. That's not what it was supposed to be. It was God's blessing and provision, not something for me to find pride in. It'll be months before our third baby comes home and we need that extra space. We would be just fine if we had to cram our car seats into the tiny backseat of our Civic for a few months. With or without the van, God still loved us and was at work for our good.
Waiting for word on what I just knew would be remarkably expensive repairs came across a very nonchalant post on Emerson's Facebook page from his father saying the repairs were done and the cost wasn't bad at all. I was shocked. What? No new transmission was required? Top it off with a comment from his mom saying that she'd cover the cost instead of contributing towards our adoption costs for a while. What? Now there isn't even a decision to be made or an action to be taken? I was just waiting for God's direction and he went and took care of the whole problem. He is so good! So loving! So gracious in his dealings with me!
"He guides me in paths of righteousness for his name's sake." Psalm 23:3b
"Good and upright is the LORD; therefore he instructs sinners in his ways. He guides the humble in what is right and teaches them his way. All the ways of the LORD are loving and faithful." Psalm 25:8-10a
This is just a glimpse of what has been on my heart, and it has been delightful to share it with you.
The holidays seem ages ago. We certainly had our most *interesting* Christmas yet as a family. Being sick with a stomach bug is awful. Dealing with kids puking in their beds is awful. Getting sick away from your own home is awful. Getting sick on Christmas Eve is awful. Add all of these awful things together... and that was our Christmas. Pretty epic.
But - We had such a great time spending a few days at Emerson's parents'. The family was complete, and completely chaotic with all of the siblings, spouses and tusins! (Ane's word for cousins.)
We played more Settlers than we have since living in Macedonia, Emerson got to spend some time outdoors hunting with his dad, and I even got some quiet time to myself (well, as quiet a place as you can find in a house with cousins rampaging through it).
I had brought my Friday morning Bible study workbook with me and enjoyed working through the lessons. Most things in my spiritual life seem to revolve around our adoption. This is the walk of faith that God has called us to at this time, so it makes sense that he is using this journey to cultivate my relationship with him. There were some powerful and encouraging lessons on opposition and the victory we have in Christ. The lesson that proved to be most penetrating to me included a multiple choice answer section with the question being; "When you face a situation that calls for action, do you normally.... a.) Seek the advice of friends; then act. b.)Seek the advice of friends, seek God; then act. c.)Act immediately and then regret your actions. d.)Seek God and act. e.)Seek God, wait for his direction; then act."
Wait for his direction. That concept struck me in the face as the option that should characterize my life and yet really looked least like me. Little did I know what God had in store for our family the next day. We were already to start packing up the van to head home. Emerson went out to the driveway to back the van into the garage to begin packing, when the transmission wouldn't go into a gear. There was no way we were driving the van home. I was devastated. This van, that seemed so much this summer to be a sign of God's provision and blessing of our decision to adopt was again malfunctioning. We just spent a huge amount of money to fix the heater and now this?! Doubt and discouragement coursed through my mind and heart, and with it the impulse to act hastily to remedy the situation, strangling it into submission to my own will. Without even knowing the mechanical diagnosis I was ready to start spitting out my opinions on how to fix everything.
And then this multiple choice question began pressing forward from the back of my mind. The Holy Spirit gently questioning me as to whether I would wait on his leading, or rely on my own "wisdom".
We ended up driving home in my mother-in-law's van (which Ane noticed only when we were within an hour of home, "When did our van turn blue?!") On our way I shared what I had been learning in Bible study with Emerson and told him that I would not be expressing my ideas on what should be done. I was going to pray for God to give him wisdom and wait for him to decide what was best for our family. I tell you there were days that I thought I'd have to bit my tongue clean off to keep from persuasively arguing all of my ingenious plans. We had to wait a few weeks to even find out what was wrong, and how much the repairs would be since the repair shop wasn't even open the week in between Christmas and New Year's. During this time I began to see how I had allowed our van (our used 1999 Ford Windstar) to become a status symbol for me as I parked it alongside all of the other minivans dropping children off at preschool. That's not what it was supposed to be. It was God's blessing and provision, not something for me to find pride in. It'll be months before our third baby comes home and we need that extra space. We would be just fine if we had to cram our car seats into the tiny backseat of our Civic for a few months. With or without the van, God still loved us and was at work for our good.
Waiting for word on what I just knew would be remarkably expensive repairs came across a very nonchalant post on Emerson's Facebook page from his father saying the repairs were done and the cost wasn't bad at all. I was shocked. What? No new transmission was required? Top it off with a comment from his mom saying that she'd cover the cost instead of contributing towards our adoption costs for a while. What? Now there isn't even a decision to be made or an action to be taken? I was just waiting for God's direction and he went and took care of the whole problem. He is so good! So loving! So gracious in his dealings with me!
"He guides me in paths of righteousness for his name's sake." Psalm 23:3b
"Good and upright is the LORD; therefore he instructs sinners in his ways. He guides the humble in what is right and teaches them his way. All the ways of the LORD are loving and faithful." Psalm 25:8-10a
This is just a glimpse of what has been on my heart, and it has been delightful to share it with you.
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